Since I returned from conference number one everything has gone a little bit haywire. 

I had an ultrasound done in June which turned up three tumorous masses in my left testicle. This is somewhat ironic because I have always feared testicular cancer in a big way. So much so that my girlfriend couldn’t even take it seriously when I started telling her I was having some pain “down there” and thought I should see a doctor. I don’t really blame her. 

So there was some wrangling with the stupid medical system and I was originally given an appointment weeks in the future. This was all accelerated when I went to the hospital on the recommendation of a friend of my parents’. She sent me to the urologist on-call and he admitted me right away for surgery. This was good because I didn’t have the chance to freak-the-fuck-out about preparing to lose my testicle. 

Three hours later I was being wheeled into surgery. And then I spent the weekend in the hospital and at home recovering. Now I am freaking out about the fact that I had to cancel a whole week of classes and I need to both return to my article to get it done by the 1st of August and somehow be ready to teach again next week. 

I think losing a nut will only get you so much sympathy around a history department. In any case, I’m waiting to see if the tumors they removed are cancerous or not. I am prepared to face it down if they are. It’s therapeutic to say “fuck cancer.” What else can you do?